Made My Day: That One Clerk at Holiday that One Night

Original FTW!

Not all that long ago, as Jay and I were walking through the chip aisle at the grocery store, I found myself absolutely thunderstruck by the extensive variety of flavors of Doritos. There are things like 3rd Degree Burn Scorchin' Habanero and All Nighter Cheeseburger. Seriously. Remember back in 1986 when Cool Ranch Doritos debuted and were like some revolutionary creation? Seems practically parochial now, doesn't it?

This brief stroll through snack-food Shangri-la got me thinking: "I haven't tasted nearly enough kinds of Doritos! We should have a little taste-test!" Deciding we didn't need full-size bags for this endeavor (see, we have some common sense!), Jay and I stopped at a Holiday station near our apartment. We grabbed 3 different flavors in snack-size bags and made our way to the counter.

The very friendly clerk said "Hungry for Doritos?" As you might imagine, I couldn't help myself:

"WE'RE GONNA DO A TASTE-TEST AND TRY ALL THESE FLAVORS!" I blurted out, as Jay gently patted my shoulder, trying to keep me from embarrassing myself.

But without missing a beat, the clerk chimed it "Oooh, then you don't want those (pointing to one of the bags). I've had quite a few people tell me that they suck. And those (pointing to another bag) taste pretty much like the original flavor, so you might want to try something else! Have you tried [insert cheesy/spicy/crazy title here]? Or [insert another cheesy/spicy/crazy title here]? People really seem to like those! I haven't had them myself, but people get them ALL the time." She was practically breathless with enthusiasm.

So we settled on 3 new flavors, paid the nice clerk and were on our way out of the store. "I hope you have fun with your taste-test!" she called after us, waving as we left.

As fun as chomping your way through a Dorito taste-test might be solely on its own merit, having the teenager at the gas station share your ridiculous excitement and jump right in with her own enthusiasm really makes everything exponentially better. It was totally unanticipated and made our silliness even more fun.

It's a little foolish, how much I love that moment. But I really do. :)

Lighting Candles: "Is Pure Altruism Possible?"

Phoebe, Joey & Aristotle

I can relate everything in life to an episode of Friends. It's one of my gifts.

So when I stumbled upon this article, The One Where Phoebe Hates PBS instantly came to mind. Essentially, Phoebe and Joey get into a fight about whether or not good deeds can be unselfish. Joey argues that good deeds are essentially selfish because they bring a sense of pride and accomplishment to the person who performs them. Phoebe swears to find a selfless good deed because she says she can't live "in a world where Joey is right."

In "Is Pure Altruism Possible," Judith Lichtenberg (a philosophy professor at Georgetown) muses about why people engage in good deeds. This particular passage sounded a lot like public good to me:

"...working in soup kitchens, taking pets to people in nursing homes, helping strangers find their way, being neighborly. People who act in these ways believe that they ought to help others, but they also want to help, because doing so affirms who they are and want to be and the kind of world they want to exist."

Giving pause and reflecting on why we do what we do--especially in regard to our interactions with others--is a wise and essential endeavor. What is my underlying motivation? Who benefits from my actions? What do I want our world to look like? Important considerations, all of them.

I hope this article gives you plenty to ponder. I'm finding myself lost in thought...and I like it!

Made My Day: Jonathan Cole

As you know, the title of this blog is based on words used by Adlai Stevenson to eulogize Eleanor Roosevelt: "She would rather light candles than curse the darkness, and her glow has warmed the world." Among her many other contributions, Anna Eleanor Roosevelt laid the foundation for the modern role of the First Lady. She was the first White House wife to hold weekly press conferences, and she also had a weekly column in many newspapers called "My Day."

As I begin this new feature of my blog, I'd like to borrow her "My Day" masthead and use it as a subtitle ...as in "Made My Day." These will be posts where I share brief interactions I've had with real, live human beings. Like what? you ask. Like interactions where the other person really played along and got into the spirit of the moment or really made the interaction something special, something memorable.

This inaugural "Made My Day" post is in honor of Jonathan Cole.

In late September, I attended one of the Great Conversations events at the University of Minnesota. This particular conversation was titled, "Renewing the Promise: Shaping the Next Century for the Great American University," and featured President Bob Bruininks, Robert Birnbaum, and Jonathan Cole. I'll write more about that another night. But right now, I want to focus on my interaction with Jonathan Cole.

When the Great Conversation ended, my husband bypassed the dessert buffet (?!) and headed right to the stack of Cole's latest book, The Great American University: Its Rise to Preeminence, Its Indispensable National Role, Why It Must Be Protected. Before I even knew what was happening, he was standing in line, waiting to get the newly-purchased book signed. "Emmy! Emmy! Get over here! He'll sign your book!" he whispered loudly. Dazed at meeting such an impressive contributor to the hallowed halls of higher education (and only slightly embarrassed by my husband's ebullience), I got in line and tried to think of something not completely banal to say when I reached the front of the line. "Tell him how much you love Land Grants!" Jay encouraged. "SHUT! UP!" I hissed back.

When it was finally my turn, Dr. Cole listened intently as I blathered on about my (comparatively brief) life in higher education and my love of our public colleges and universities. And then he took quite a nice amount of time writing an inscription as we chatted a bit more. Afterward, Jay and I wandered off, hand-in-hand, into the evening (making sure to swipe extra desserts from the dessert table). When we got to the car, I opened my book to read what Dr. Cole wrote. Sap that I am, I got all misty-eyed when I read his words:   

  For Emily -

With best wishes for a terrific career and in helping us sustain our great universities.
Jonathan
09/30/10

I feel the need to explain myself here. It isn't that I got all verklempt because I am suffering under some delusion that the former Provost of Columbia University thinks I'm the next best thing to happen to higher education. I am, after all, an ABD administrator. People like me are a dime a dozen...and don't I know it.

But that he took the time to write out a personal and thoughtful inscription...that he really stopped to hear my enthusiasm (mania?) and respond with such sincerity? It meant the world to me. What was already an inspirational evening--for a higher ed geek like me--was transformed in to a moment that I will likely remember for the rest of my life.

And that, my friends, is what "Made My Day" is all about.

Lighting Candles: "100 Candles on Her Next Cake, and Three R’s to Get Her There."

Here's a piece I found in the NYT today...the first of a two-part series on "living long and well." The subject of the story is Esther Tuttle, an almost-centenarian who attributes her longevity to "three R's: resolution, resourcefulness and resilience."

If this isn't optimism & enthusiasm, and wisdom & intelligence, then I don't know what is! I hope you enjoy her story as much as I did. And if you'd like to hear her in her own words, follow this link.


PS - I've decided to call the weekly links to stories in the news "Lighting Candles"...so when you see that heading, that's what's going on!

Reheating "Warmed the World"

You're getting sleepy...very sleepy...

Good grief, am I tired.

The new job. Running the 10K. Working on the dissertation. The all-weekend, work-related, event. The road trip with old pals. Recommitting to Boot Camp with my awesome trainer.

I'm not complaining, I swear. These are all good things in my life. But they are all making me tired. They are all taking away time (and energy) from blogging. Gah.

Do you know that I used to stay up 'til the wee hours of the morning all the time? Like 'til 2ish. On a regular basis. And it was no big deal. Now? The clock strikes 10:06 pm, and I am down for the count. Like the other night, I was hanging out with Jay and my super-fantastic brother...we were all having a lovely time. And all of the sudden I just stood up in the middle of everything and announced I was going to bed. It was complete lights out. Immediately. Rumor has it, they got in a good laugh at my expense. But how would I know? I was sawing logs.

And so another night passes...and still no blogging. What to do?

Fortunately, last week, at the encouragement of my good friend Melanie, I decided to attend a free workshop on improving one's blog that was being offered by the kind folks at the Daily Planet (Jay Gabler--who is a dove, BTW--specifically). I figured this would be just what I needed.

What could possibly be worthy of this awesome notebook?!

So I showed up with a Diet Coke and my new notebook system from Russell and Hazel (Side note: R&H is so awesome ...and it's a local company...almost worthy of it's own post!!), ready to learn. Ready to get my blog on.

There were lots of ideas and suggestions...lots of encouragement to blog early and blog often...lots of dos and lots of don'ts.

The thing I came away with, above everything else, is that I need to find more ways to add to this blog without having to write a 1,000+ word essay every time. But I need to do all this in a way that is consistent with the mission of my blog.

What to do? What to do?

So here's what I came up with (and I'd like to know what you, Dear Readers, think of all this):

I'm going to add two weekly features to the blog:

1. I'm going to share some sort of news story/link with all of you that I think rings true to the mission of the blog. I'm going to strive to find something that isn't necessarily front-page news. I'm going to strive to find something substantive. I'm not going to write a big analysis of it, but I am going to tie it back to the general themes of "Warmed the World." And I'm only going to do this once a week. So I have to be choosy. Don't worry. I will not inundate you with links. That's what Facebook is for anyway, right?
2. I am going to share an interaction with you...some random crossing of paths that I've had in my recent past. I'm doing this in lieu of a post I was working on entitled "People Who Play Along"...it was supposed to highlight encounters with random strangers who just jump right in and share your enthusiasm or support your situation. It might be a bit of a fuzzy concept at this point, but I think we'll be able to flesh it out.

Questions?

Comments?

Away we go! Warmed the World...reheated!

Discomfort

I spent the better part of the third Monday morning at my new job hiding in the very last stall of the 3rd floor women's restroom trying not to puke. Like cold and sweaty and shaky and dizzy, whispering, "pleaseplease pleaseplease" all whilst willing the vomit back down from whence it came.

After about 2 hours of increasingly unpleasant feelings, I decided I was going home. A bold move on one's 11th day of work at a new job, I know. But it was either that or risk being known as "That Lady Who Barfed" for an unforeseeable amount of time. Believing that was a mantle too heavy to bear, I had Jay come pick me up over his lunch hour. (I mean I'd already put in 4 hours, so it wasn't too bad, right?).

Lucky for me (and you, since you're reading this) the gastro-intestinal distress eventually subsided, and I spent a phenomenally productive afternoon emailing and organizing spreadsheets from the comfort of my very own bed. And the next day, while thanking my new boss for understanding, I proceeded to send her into fits of gasping-for-breath laughter when I explained how my overly-cautious approach to public nausea was due to a humiliating elementary school experience where I yarfed in the doorway of the library, and my entire class had to be routed out through the A/V storage closet, jam-packed with filmstrip machines and over-head projectors.

Some scars take a lifetime to heal.

But as funny as puke stories are, this is not the "discomfort" of which I speak.

So I started this new job. I've mentioned it a few times. I am the new Coordinator for Faculty Awards in the Office of the Vice Provost for Faculty and Academic Affairs. I coordinate internal awards processes for excellence in teaching. I work with the Academy of Distinguished Teachers. I'll work to bolster processes and support for faculty applying for external, national awards. Or something like that.

Did they really mean for ME to have THIS office?!

In addition to the new professional opportunities, it's wonderful to be back at a big, bustling research university. It's wonderful to be back with so many friends and colleagues that I made as a graduate student. It's wonderful to be back where there are like a million places within walking-distance for lunch. Oh, and I love my new office. It rocks.

But as exciting as it is to embark on a fresh adventure in a place that you love, it's so hard to be new all over again.

The simplest emails take 20 minutes to write...the wording has to be perfect because I've never met the person/people before, and I want to come across professionally. The simplest tasks take 20 minutes to accomplish...since I don't really know anything. So I'm reduced to asking questions like "How do I send this 3-sentence email (that took me 20 minutes to write) to the listserv?" or "who do I call about [insert ridiculously easy task here]?"

Everyone knows everyone else. So I end up having to politely interrupt conversations and say "wait, is that the guy from the place with the thing?" or "Did I meet her at the meeting in the room on that morning when we all...?" And no one knows who I am, so I announce my title and then counter the blank stares with "I'm the new So-and-So." "AH YES! We worked with So-and-So! Well, welcome aboard!"

I'm tired of apologizing for what I don't know...even though no one expects me to know it and everyone is incredibly benevolent about helping me learn it. I'm tired of feeling like I know just enough to accomplish the immediately necessary tasks, but knowing that all sorts of things are looming just around the bend...and I'll be catching up with and breathlessly apologizing for that stuff too.

I know that weeks and months of experience will temper all this discomfort. I had lunch (Campus Pizza!) with a wise friend today, and he reminded me that as desperately as we would wish it were otherwise, the only thing that can truly help is time. So sage, this guy.

But wow is it hard to suffer through the discomfort.

Or is it?

Because here's the thing about the discomfort--it's "contribution"-- if you will: It makes us think long and hard about our genuine nature and who we want to become in our new environment. It makes us stop and consider how accurately we're portraying ourselves and if we're being sincere about who we truly are.

Set a course for adventure...

So while I've decided to stop dressing like a hobo on a regular basis (Cute heels! Dry-clean-only pants! Maroon leather brief-case/purse/tote-bag thing!), I have been proudly forthright about my love of Chuck, baseball, and noxious amounts of frosting (and yes, somehow these things have all come up in conversation). I am at my desk by 8:10 every morning, and I have thus far refrained from dropping the F-bomb in the presence of my superiors. But I've also admitted that I'm a woefully untraveled person and that I have a soft-spot in my heart for The Love Boat. I successfully helped synthesize a big talk by three higher education leaders for an upcoming retreat, but I think they've also noticed the squadron of Lego Star Wars Rebel Troopers guarding my bookshelf.

 What can I say...I am who I am.

I've been relying heavily on my sense of humor. I may not know much about anything just yet, but I still have a host of mostly-hilarious observations exploding out of my brain. At least so far they seem to find me funny, which--believe you me--I'll take over having them think me competent, any old day of the week. Anyone can be decent at a job...but I bring levity, people.

And let's face it, proffering wit makes me feel most like myself.

So will the discomfort subside soon? I sincerely hope so. But can I truthfully represent myself in the mean-time? I honestly believe I can. And that's all that really matters...