Reverb 10 - Day 31: Core Story

Day 31: Core story. 

What central story is at the core of you, and how do you share it with the world? (Bonus: Consider your reflections from this month. Look through them to discover a thread you may not have noticed until today.)

(Author: Molly O'Neill)

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 I don't think I could write a better response to this prompt than K did over at Bravely Obey. So read that and imagine me whooping along in solidarity.

In my own words, however, I'd have to say that the criteria that I use when I write this blog are what is at the core of me. I care about sincerity, public good, smart humor, unabashed glee, optimism & enthusiasm, and wisdom & intelligence. I care about celebrating the contributions that make our world a better place. I strive to focus on the positive, even when I feel consumed by crap.

Speaking of which...

The last 5 days haven't been my favorite. Although I've been on vacation and have had a good deal of time to sew and relax and watch Netflix and spend time with family and friends...all whilst wearing sweatpants, I've been bitterly resentful of some other obligations (which isn't exactly the right word, but it's what I'll use for now). Obligations that just happened to show up out of nowhere, sullying the field of peaceful, untrodden snow that was supposed to be this week.

I've been angry. I've been holding tight to this sense of rueful indignation. I've been taking my crankiness out on my poor husband, usually in the form of diatribes resembling scenes from Academy Award-winning films. I've had a hard time finding the part of myself that writes this blog and blathers on about happy crap. I've dramatically overused metaphors about fields of snow.

And then I remember...I live a life with an embarrassing abundance of riches. I have the most fantastic family. I am the recipient of more love than one person could possibly deserve. I am healthy. I have a great job. I have wonderful friends. I am able to choose joy and optimism with little effort. I do not want for anything. Ever.

I am grateful that tonight I will quietly celebrate what has been a wonderful year. What has been so wonderful about it? Nothing all that remarkable. Just the regular, run-of-the-mill loveliness that fills each day.

And tomorrow we'll start the cycle all over again. I can hardly wait!

 

  

  

Reverb 10 - Leftovers

Here are the prompts that I chose not to answer. I passed on some of these because I felt like they were repetitive. Others, because they just weren't of interest to me. Maybe I'll revisit this list later on, using it for future posts. Or maybe not. But here are the things I let go:

Day 16: Friendship. 

How has a friend changed you or your perspective on the world this year? Was this change gradual, or a sudden burst?

(Author: Martha Mihalick)

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I skipped this one because I've been mulling over a post about an old pal of mine. So I'm saving it for later.

Day 21: Future self. 

Imagine yourself five years from now. What advice would you give your current self for the year ahead? (Bonus: Write a note to yourself 10 years ago. What would you tell your younger self?)

(Author: Jenny Blake)
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Stay positive. Work hard. Don't complain. Save some money. And seriously? Focus on someone else besides yourself. That's what I have to say about this prompt.

Day 22: Travel.

How did you travel in 2010? How and/or where would you like to travel next year?
(Author: Tara Hunt)

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I went to Seattle. I worked on my dissertation. I ate chowder and spent time with one of my dearest friends. I talked about that already. I tried to go to the Rose Bowl, but airfare was exorbitantly expensive. Next year? Who knows? I'm not too worried about travel right now. I'm focused on my dissertation. And figuring out how grown-ups become home-owners. Those are my journeys for 2011.

Day 24: Everything's OK. 

What was the best moment that could serve as proof that everything is going to be alright? And how will you incorporate that discovery into the year ahead?
(Author: Kate Inglis)

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Blargh. You know how I know that everything is alright? Because I get up in the morning. And Jay gets up in the morning. And our families are still with us. And we have jobs that we are fortunate enough to enjoy. Everything is alright because we have decided it is. It's all a choice. Life is good because we decide it is, no matter what the circumstances are.

Day 28: Achieve. 

What’s the thing you most want to achieve next year? How do you imagine you’ll feel when you get it? Free? Happy? Complete? Blissful? Write that feeling down. Then, brainstorm 10 things you can do, or 10 new thoughts you can think, in order to experience that feeling today.

(Author: Tara Sophia Mohr)

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Sweet Jebus. Haven't we talked about this already?

Day 29: Defining moment. 

Describe a defining moment or series of events that has affected your life this year.

(Author: Kathryn Fitzmaurice)

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And this? Haven't we talked about this too? Or maybe not. But still...moving on...

Day 30: Gift. 

This month, gifts and gift-giving can seem inescapable. What's the most memorable gift, tangible or emotional, you received this year?

(Author: Holly Root)

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Meh. I am not in the mood to write about this...whether from a shallow or deep perspective. So I'm not gonna.

Anyway. That's what I skipped.

 

 

Reverb 10 - Day 27: Ordinary Joy

Day 27: Ordinary joy. 

Our most profound joy is often experienced during ordinary moments. What was one of your most joyful ordinary moments this year?

(Author: Brené Brown)

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One of the best examples of why Brian Andreas' Storypeople is so brilliant is this one:

Ordinary Life

Time stands still best in moments that look suspiciously like ordinary life.

I think my whole year was a beautiful collage of ordinary moments. I thrive on ordinary moments. The ones where Jay and I are in the kitchen making Trader Joe's Chinese take-out and laughing so hard that we cry (which happens much more often than you'd imagine). The ones where we're Facebooking each other from dueling laptops in the same living room. The ones where we're watching 30 Rock, all cuddled up on the couch...laughing so hard that I don't know if I'm shaking from my riotous response or his.

These moments are pride in my father as he publishes his quarterly newsletter about the history of our hometown. These moments are the humor and comfort of hanging out with my brother. These moments are the familiarity and support of phone calls with my mother (usually 3-4 each day). These moments are the hilarity of IMing with my sister throughout the day at work.

I can't pick just one ordinary moment, because I try so hard to appreciate them all. Every single day, I look around our teeny, tiny, messy apartment and am humbled by the beauty and richness of what my life is like right now. These are the best days. Just like every day to come...

Reverb 10 - Day 26: Soul Food

Day 26: Soul food. 

What did you eat this year that you will never forget? What went into your mouth & touched your soul?

(Author: Elise Marie Collins)

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 I feel like this post is trying to pull us in some Eat. Pray. Love. direction. I want no part of that. What I do want a part of? Any of this: 

The Mimi at Punch is the best pizza on the planet. Don't argue with me on this one. 

Those burgers at the Blue Door Pub...they bring tears to my eyes...and happiness to my tummy!

The gastronomical extravaganza that is the Minnesota State Fair is an annual event that couldn't be surpassed by the foodiest of foods.

 

The Mactastic Shortbread cookie from Two Smart Cookies is all the proof you need that it's nice to have State-Fair-Award-Winning bakers as friends.

 Oh yeah, and why is it that anything cooked by my mother tastes better than anything else ever made by anyone...in the whole world? Everyone wants in on the action...right Buster?

Reverb 10 - Day 25: Photo

Day 25: Photo - a present to yourself. 

Sift through all the photos of you from the past year. Choose one that best captures you; either who you are, or who you strive to be. Find the shot of you that is worth a thousand words. Share the image, who shot it, where, and what it best reveals about you.

(Author: Tracey Clark)

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 This is my favorite photo from 2010. It was taken on Friday, May 14, 2010 at the Dew Drop Bop, an end-of-the-year festival at St. Catherine University. The DDB features games and carnival activities and all sorts of awesome fair foods...including cotton candy(!!!). The photo was taken by an incredibly talented St. Kate's student who worked in the Marketing & Communications department (the office neighbors of those of us in Institutional Research).

This photo actually garnered small amounts of attention when it was displayed in the slide show on the St. Kate's intranet. I received at least a half-dozen emails from colleagues around campus saying how much they loved it. How I was all into my cotton candy. And Jay was all into me. How I was so intense. How Jay was so sweet.

Yes, yes, yes and yes. All major reasons why I love this photo. Also...

I love that this photo was taken when I was in the best shape I've been in in years...and yet I was enjoying cotton candy. 

I love that I was dressed up in a new (at the time) outfit that I really loved...and yet I put the Dew Drop Bop t-shirt right over the top of it, because I would rather embrace the spirit of the event than look professional.

I love that I had just enjoyed wonderful conversations with various St. Kate's colleagues not long before this photo was taken...that I got to be part of the warm, supportive, inclusive St. Kate's community. But I wasn't afraid to push the limits of my comfort zone and take advantage of new opportunities.

I love that I take silly things so seriously...that I find absolute joy in things like freshly spun cotton candy. I love that I'm in my mid-30s, and things like that still make me so happy.

I love that I found a partner who loves me because of (and in spite of) all these things.

Reverb 10 - Day 23: New Name

Day 23: New name. 

Let's meet again, for the first time. If you could introduce yourself to strangers by another name for just one day, what would it be and why?

(Author: Becca Wilcott)

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I love my name. I always have. When I was little (and this is obviously no longer the case), I was the only Emily in my class (and for many classes before and after me). I loved being the only Emily. And it wasn't some crazy, trendy, "oh-look-how-unique-my-child-is-because-we-named-her-after-a-vegetable-or-a-Roman-Senator" name. It was just old school.

I also love being Emily Anne...Anne with an "e"...like Anne of Green Gables.

And I love being a Ronning. Without getting all gushy or arrogant, I feel like it means something to be a Ronning. Not anything better than what it means to be you, whoever you are, dear reader. But I do feel like being a Ronning means something to me personally. We are a clan of Ronnings. And I identify with that in a very powerful way.

In fact, I love being a Ronning so much that even after I got married, I am still Emily Anne Ronning. Technically, I have two last names (no hyphen): Emily Anne Ronning Jay's Last Name. But I never changed my driver's license. And I never sign my name that way. And when we get mail addressed to Mr. and Mrs. Jay's Last Name, I roll my eyes with semi-feigned indignation. I don't really care, I'm not really mad or offended...but I feel like we're well into the 21st century, and it wouldn't be all that revolutionary (or physically demanding) to write out both of our names.

Anyway.

I could never imagine introducing myself as someone other than who I am. I can only be exactly who I am.

I would imagine this is related to things like my relatively conservative style when it comes to clothing..."it's just not me." Or the fact that I shrugged my shoulders and said "Meh. I soooo don't care," when my stylist informed me that she was starting to see gray hair here and there, and should we do anything about it?

This is also likely related to the largely unprofessional Stephen Colbert canvas tote bag that I carry to work every day. And to the (tasteful and relatively understated) Wisconsin Badger paraphernalia that adorn my office at the University of Minnesota.

It's probably related to a lot of things...and I'm fine with all of it. :)

Reverb 10 - Day 20: Beyond Avoidance

Day 20: Beyond avoidance.  

What should you have done this year but didn't because you were too scared, worried, unsure, busy or otherwise deterred from doing? (Bonus: Will you do it?)

(Author: Jake Nickell)

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I should have...

• kept up with my health and fitness progress, instead of regressing as much as I did.
• finished all those quilts/bracelets/crafty projects I started.
• made more/faster/better progress on my dissertation...though we're really flying now, I swear.
• called that mortgage guy by now.
• saved more.
• spent less.
• booked those cheap tickets to LA before the Rose Bowl teams were announced, instead of worrying that the Badgers wouldn't get the call. Now we're not going. And I'm still a little cranky about it.
• read more.
• Facebooked less.
• lived in the present and not lost the entire month of August worrying about things that were out of my control.
• kept my shit together during the job transition, instead of losing track of so many people and events and tasks and...and...and...
• ...really, the list goes on and on.

I know I've talked ad nauseam about being more organized and intentional and active (see Reverb 10 days 2, 5, 11, 17, 18...). But sometimes I wonder why I don't feel motivated to do all these things I think I want to do. 

 

I swear I'm a happy kid. Happy with my career...happy with my marriage...and my family and my friends. I value my values, and I cherish my hobbies and interests. I love where we live. I love the life we've created for ourselves.

So where does the avoidance come from? Can you be happy and bored at the same time? Can you be bored and not know it?  How do we break out of ruts we don't recognize? What is really avoidance, compared to stuff we really have no interest in accomplishing, but feel like we're supposed to want to do?

Remember the old residence life exercise (or was it a forwarded email?) about the rocks? About prioritizing and making time for the things that matter? And then filling in the spaces with pebbles and sand? I feel real confident about the big rocks in my life. But maybe not so much the pebbles and the sand. Does that make sense? Is that even possible? Do I need new pebbles and sand?

 

I feel like my larger priorities are pretty on track...but maybe I need to rethink the cracks and crevices. Maybe the things that I think make me happy (or the ways that I think I want to spend my time) aren't as fulfilling as they once were? Maybe something is missing? Maybe I need an infusion of newer (but still smaller and manageable) hobbies or activities?

This got awfully stream-of-consciousness and Oh Dear Diary...but I'd love to hear your thoughts on these musings, just the same...

Reverb 10 - Day 19: Healing

Day 19: Healing. 

What healed you this year? Was it sudden, or a drip-by-drip evolution? How would you like to be healed in 2011?

(Author: Leoni Allan)

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Is it okay if I just say that this isn't my kind of prompt? And then move on to something else?

Great. Thank you.

Reverb 10 - Day 18: Try

Day 18: Try. 

What do you want to try next year? Is there something you wanted to try in 2010? What happened when you did / didn't go for it?
(Author: Kaileen Elise)

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Hmmmm...

I feel like I tried quite a bit in 2010. And I feel like I've talked about a lot of it already...especially in the post about wise decisions. I think some of this Reverb stuff is getting a little repetitive...which is why I am behind in my posts (and then back-dating them so it looks like I'm keeping up to speed. Or maybe I back-date so they don't all show up as posted on the same day, which would offend my often-but-not-always Type-A disposition).

Anyway.

I taught myself how to peyote stitch. That was pretty cool. I've always wanted to know how to do that. I'm not gonna lie...it was totally fun to walk into the Bead Monkey to ask for help on how to make a clasp and then say, in a faux-demure tone, "Oh I taught myself," when they asked me where I learned to bead like that.

I went for it and applied for a new job in an area somewhat tangential to my previous professional experiences. So far, so good on that decision.

I (mostly) happily ran a 10K for which I barely trained...that was an experience. It is amazing what we can do when we don't tell ourselves that we can't. One foot in front of the other really does get a person through an awful lot. Imagine what I could do if I trained!?!

Attempts and efforts are worth it. I think my aforementioned examples support that statement. I wouldn't say this is new news to me (or to you, Sage Readers). I'm real into trying. As much as I love Yoda (or as much as Jay loves Yoda), I do think there is something to be said for just putting yourself out there and giving it the "old college try." All that "do or do not" business...I don't know...sometimes you just need to test the waters.

Next year?

I'd like to cook new recipes on a more regular basis.

I'd like to run another 10K...and then some.

I'd like to venture out to some new locales around the Twin Cities...try some new restaurants and explore some new neighborhoods.

I'd like to be more disciplined, in general.

Oh...and I'd like us to try to buy a house. How's that for new?

Reverb 10 - Day 17: Lesson Learned

Day 17: Lesson learned. 

What was the best thing you learned about yourself this past year? And how will you apply that lesson going forward?

(Author: Tara Weaver)

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I don't know that I've learned this, as much as I've recently admitted it...or maybe through all this Reverbing (and this Reverbing), I've become acutely aware of it...

...but I don't like it when I'm lazy. I don't like it when I procrastinate. I don't like it when I take a load off.

I mean, I know we all need a break, so don't get me wrong. I enjoy balance...and leisure...and time off from whatever it is that is keeping me busy. 

But I hate--HATE--inaction. And I think I've been a little too inactive lately...in too many areas of my life. I need to work hard and then play hard...instead of playing halfheartedly while resenting the things that I need to get done eventually.

And I'm not just talking about chores and dissertating and work stuff. I think I'm too inactive about other things. About not wanting to leave the house. About being too comfortable and too familiar. 

I think I've mentioned that I often have a tempestuous relationship with Sundays. I hate them. And I don't even know why. I mean I love my job...I look forward to going to work. But on Sundays I often cling to this need to lay around. To relax. To not do anything that I don't want to do. And then all of the sudden it's 7pm. And the day is practically over. And I'm angry that I didn't get anything done.

All that "relaxing?" All it did was cause me stress.

So I need to dive in. I need to make progress.

To make this happen, I think all I really need to do (in addition to working on my organizational system) is be honest with myself about how much better I feel when I work first and play second. I need to remember that the productivity ultimately feels better than the passivity. I like feeling that sense of accomplishment. I like checking things off the list. I like rewarding myself afterward.

I hope you'll remind me that I said all this the next time you hear me say, "Oh, I'm just going to lay on the couch for awhile..."

Reverb 10 - Day 15: 5 Minutes

Day 15: 5 minutes. 

Imagine you will completely lose your memory of 2010 in five minutes. Set an alarm for five minutes and capture the things you most want to remember about 2010.

(Author: Patti Digh)

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I can, without a doubt, assure you that residence life professionals all over the country are reading this prompt and groaning/laughing/having flashbacks. Why? Because I have a hard time remembering a single RA training that didn't begin with the "Pretend your room is on fire! Run back and grab the one thing you would save!" activity.

Okay - seriously now. Here comes everything I can think of in 5 minutes:

• 4 days at home over Thanksgiving...lots of wonderful time with the Ronnings
• Friday coffee and conversation with the Cookies and Geanette
• Planning for the Cookie-Stravaganza with my Befri
• Getting to know Target Field
• An amazing Badger Football season
• 5 days in Seattle...some for fun and some for dissertating at Central Library
• Saying good-bye to sweet St. Kate's
• Starting anew at the U
• Personal training with Mel-the-Rugby-Playin'-Trainer (and boot camp too)
• Running the 4K and the 10K with my brother
• The Snowpocalypse of 12/11/10
• The day/night we watched 13 episodes of 30 Rock and laughed so hard that our faces hurt

There you go...5ish minutes. What a nice year it's been! Tell me about what you'll remember...

Reverb 10 - Day 14: Appreciate

Day 14: Appreciate

What's the one thing you have come to appreciate most in the past year? How do you express gratitude for it?

(Author: Victoria Klein)

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I've resorted to lists quite a bit lately. So I'm picking one thing tonight...difficult as it is, right Kristen? ;)

Before I get into what I've come to appreciate, let me tell you a story about a first date that almost led to a second...until it didn't.

Second semester of my sophomore year of college, I went out on a date with this sorta emo guy from a creative writing class I was taking. I don't remember how it came to be that he asked me out in the first place. I know I wouldn't have asked him, because I was still largely unaware that boys would ever like me. I'm not being immodest here..I  just have some funny stories about missing some pretty obvious signs. But that's for another night. Somehow we ended up on a date. I remember that we watched part of Reservoir Dogs in his apartment with some of his friends, but I have no recollection of the rest of the night...

...right up 'til the part when he walked me to the door of Witte Hall.

As we were standing out in the cold, talking, I remember that he asked me what bands I liked, and I stammered and thought and said "Ummmm, I don't know? Elton John and Billy Joel?" And he audibly groaned and said "Nooooo!" in this really disappointed voice. I think there was potential for a second date right up until that moment. And then I blew it. Sorry emo dude. Apparently this was before I had discovered Ani DiFranco or really delved into the Indigo Girls and Melissa Etheridge. Not that those artists would have helped me with this particular date.

Oh well. I guess it wasn't meant to be...and honestly, I have to believe the only reason he asked me out in the first place was because I wrote a poem for class about a bad break up and the guy I subsequently made out with to get over said bad break up. Nothing like a brooding poem about getting dumped and then being a little "fast" (as my mother would say) to get the boys to hit on you! But I stand by the poem...it was included in the 1995 University of Wisconsin undergraduate literary magazine...my brief stint as a creative writer!

Anyway...to tie this reminiscing to the actual post: I've never been great at articulating my musical tastes. I don't know that I've ever had strong musical tastes. I like what I like, and I listen to it a lot. I don't necessarily seek out new music. I'm not particularly musically curious (is that even a thing?). Sad. Tragically sad. I mean I find a new artist that I love from time to time, but I swim in pretty shallow waters when it comes to branching out and finding other stuff.

Until this year.

I've gained a new (maybe even better) appreciation for music this year. Not serious classical music, or anything like that. Just good, independent, progressive, awesome, listen-to-it-on-the-radio-and-howl-along-in-the-car music. This is predominantly due to Minnesota Public Radio and The Current. How lucky are we to live in a community with such an amazing radio station? And if you don't live here, you can stream it online...which I strongly recommend.

The diversity of artists and genres is staggering. The introduction to new musicians is constant. The talent is remarkable. You can go days without hearing a song again. In fact, when you actually do hear a song you really love again, it's quite exciting! Who knew I would love Dessa ("Dixon's Girl")? Or Audra Mae's "Happiest Lamb"? I love laughing my way through "You Must Be Out of Your Mind" by The Magnetic Fields and chuckling at "Pala Tute" by Gogol Bordello. I've learned more about the work of The Pines, The Hold Steady, PeterWolf Crier, Carolina Chocolate Drops, The New Pornographers and Gaslight Anthem (to name a few) than I would have, had I not listened to The Current on a regular basis.

You know what else helped me expand my musical horizons? Chuck. That show has some serious musical chops. Chuck introduced me to Frightened Rabbit, Bon Iver, Matt Pond PA, Mates of State, and--OMG, isn't he sooooo dreamy?!?!?!--Austin Hartley Leonard (follow this link to enjoy more hyperventilation about my love for AHL...or just watch this and freak out for yourself).

Why yes, I am a sustaining member!

I'm not sure how to express gratitude for this new world of musical appreciation. Other than increasing my monthly membership contribution to MPR/The Current! I would imagine the best thing I can do is keep growing, exploring and finding new music to experience...or dig deeper into the work of the folks I've already come to appreciate. That, or burn CDs of my iTunes playlists and send them to all of you...so you too can enjoy these great artists! J/K, J/K...no illegal music-mongering going on here.

But if you need some new tunes, let's chat...I may actually have a better answer to, "So, what bands are you into?"

Reverb 10 - Day 13: Action

December 13: Action.

When it comes to aspirations, it’s not about ideas. It’s about making ideas happen. What’s your next step? (Author: Scott Belsky)

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I need a better organizational system. Like, stat.

It has been longer than I can remember since I had a system that really felt right. I mean I'm getting my work done...it isn't like I'm forgetting anything. But I am a person who likes the process of being organized. I like making lists...and crossing things off. I like breaking things down into particular steps and stages. I like color-coding and symbols and abbreviations and systems.

And I don't have any of that right now.

I've tried a collage of post-its that get tossed when the task is completed. I've tried notebooks with sections for the various components of my job. I've tried spreadsheets with colors and rows and fonts and alpha-sorted by this and that. I can't get excited about any of it.

And I want to be excited.

Thanks to Reverb 10, I've identified some road-blocks (for writing and other aspects of my life) and some behaviors that need some culling. These are all important parts of the process...and probably the most significant, reflective first steps. But ferreals, I need a better system. 

Does anyone have any ideas (keeping in mind that I feel like I'm more of a pencil and paper gal than I am an e-organizer). Thoughts? Suggestions? Are you out there? Come in please...

Reverb 10 - Day 12: Body Integration

December 12: Body Integration.

This year, when did you feel the most integrated with your body? Did you have a moment where there wasn’t mind and body, but simply a cohesive YOU, alive and present? 

(Author: Patrick Reynolds)

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Meh. 

That's how I feel about this prompt. And I have a lot of other things I want to do before the Sunday night of my blissful, quiet, snowy, snowy weekend expires. Like clipping coupons and quilting. So this is what I've got:

I generally feel like a whole, cohesive individual. I am blessed to have a body that is able. I am glad that I feel comfortable in my own skin, even when there could, arguably, be a little less of me. I feel better when I exercise, and I miss what I felt like back in February-June of 2010 when I was really taking awesome care of myself. I'm slowly, but surely, finding my way back from a summer/early fall of too many delectable Twins game snacks, the State Fair, and the stress of job transition. But I'm fine.

That's all.

Okay, gotta run...there is quilting to be done! 

Gross. That rhymed. 

Reverb 10 - Day 11: 11 Things

December 11: 11 Things. 

What are 11 things your life doesn't need in 2011? How will you go about eliminating them? How will getting rid of these 11 things change your life?

(Author: Sam Davidson)

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I'm not really into elimination. I'm more into balance. Unless you're doing, oh I don't know, a lot of meth...or something equally abusive to yourself (or those around you)...I think moderation is really best.

So here comes my list of things I am going to strive to approach from a more balanced perspective. In no particular order:

• Bejeweled...and Facebook in general. I am a little too Facebooky...and a little too awesome at Bejeweled.
• The excuses I generate so I don't have to go to the gym (on non-Boot Camp days).
• Saying yes, without hesitation, to "Do you wanna go to lunch?" instead of eating my healthier and cheaper lunch from home.
• My tempestuous relationship with Sundays.
• Printing articles from the Chronicle of Higher Education. I always use the "But it's for my dissertation and professional development" excuse, as I hear the trees screaming in the background. Certainly I can figure out a better e-storage system.
• Hitting the snooze button so much...and my frequent bouts of morning crankiness directed at poor, undeserving Jay. Let's get going and be in a good mood about the new day already!
• Having the TV on as background noise. There needs to be more radio. More quiet.
• Sifting and winnowing through the piles of stuff adorning my home on a more regular basis. I'm not going to get carried away and be a neat-freak...but a little less squalor would be nice.
• Web browsing on my phone while riding the bus. Remember when I brought a book to read on the way home? Those were good days.
• Complaining--ad nauseam--about the very same things in regard to the very same people/situations. Letting go is good.
•  Buying fancy organizational systems/post-its and then not using them because I'm "saving them for something special." That should be at the top of some list of ridiculousness?!? What's more special than what's already going on around here! :)

Reverb 10 - Day 10: Wisdom

December 10: Wisdom. 

What was the wisest decision you made this year, and how did it play out? 

(Author: Susannah Conway)

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I am currently busy cleaning the apartment before tomorrow's blizzard...so when we're snowed in with 10-20" of wintery goodness, we can really just lay back and enjoy the house. Is there anything better than waking up in the morning knowing that there is no reason to leave your warm, cozy home? There is no reason to change out of your pj's...unless it is to put on cleaner, cuter, comfier pj's? So this will be quick-ish...

Because I feel like I've already talked about some of the larger transitions in my life via #Reverb10 and other blog posts, I'm copping out and doing a Top 10 list. I think it will give a nice snapshot of the decisions (some wise, some dumb-luck) that have had a considerable impact on my life in this past year.
 

My Top 10 Best Decisions of 2010:

10) Getting a couple of those button-down, dress shirts with the ruffles on the front that seem to be all the rage right now. Who knew I'd be into that?

This is not me. But I do own this shirt.

9) Working patiently until I was much more comfortable with SPSS syntax files.

8) Reading The Immortal Life of Henrietta Lacks.

7) Teaching my Befri and his bf how to play Catan. Let's hear it for wonderful nights chock full of nerd games!

Yes We Catan!

6) Starting this blog. Hooray for more creative writing! Hooray for self-reflection! Hooray for new interweb friends!

5) Convincing one of my very dearest friends to abandon her husband and child to spend the better part of two days playing in downtown Seattle. Chowder and crab legs and girl talk and an awesome hotel room. Couldn't have been better!

5 kinds of chowder + crab roll = Chowder Coma

4) Running a 4K and a 10K with my brother...who is fit, funny, and keeps perfect pace!

Ronnings on the run!

 

3) Trying the Lentil & Potato Crunchy Curls from Trader Joe's...who knew a snack food could change your life?

Lentils FTW!

2) Applying for a job for which I was not remotely qualified, in hope that they would remember my materials when a more appropriate job came along.

1) Consistently choosing optimism over pessimism, laughter over protest, and joy over fear.

Life is so, so good.

Reverb 10 - Day 9: Let's Party About Public Good

December 9: Party

What social gathering rocked your socks off in 2010? Describe the people, music, food, drink, clothes, shenanigans.

(Author: Shauna Reid)

 _______________________________________________

This is a tough one for me, because even though I love my friends and am a relatively social person, I sometimes sorta feel like I hate going out. Once I'm out at the party? Then I love it and am all like "HOORAY! Aren't you glad we're here? I sure am!" 

It's actually much uglier than this...

But getting out the door? 

I. DON'T. WANNA. GO.

Even if I love the people I'll be spending time with...even if I get to wear a cute new sweater...even if the food is going to be fantastic ...9 times out of 10, I will throw some sort of fit and poor Jay has to shove/bribe/trick me out of the house.

It's so pathetic. I know.

And none of you should take this personally, just in case you're thinking, "Hey, she was at one of my parties recently...is she talking about me?!" 

It's not you. It's me. I swear.

Anyway, I ventured out one particular school night back in September (technically, I never went home after work...maybe that's the key), thanks to a tip from the talented Jen D. She suggested that we might be interested in the Forecast Public Art Umbrella! Benefit Celebration. Forecast is a nonprofit organization that, "connects the energies and talents of artists with the needs and opportunities of communities, to create meaningful public art." How awesome is that? You know what I thought was even more awesome? That the event was being held at The Metropolitan Club at Target Field. Count me in!

It's so pathetic opportunistic. I know.

 Anyway, the event began with a flash mob/performance art piece (in which we participated) that encouraged the "actors" to interact with the large piece of public art called "The Wave" near Target Field. Afterward, there was a reception and awards ceremony in The Metropolitan Club. 

So we danced with umbrellas and sang "Singin' in the Rain" like a bunch of weirdos...and then we ate great food in a swanky environment, while staring out into the evening at the empty, yet stunning, ball field. The evening could have ended there, and I would have been the happiest of campers.

Being part of the art...

But then the presentation started. Forecast was honoring the Twins for their contribution to the public art/spaces that were part of the new stadium. For Target Plaza and "The Wave" art installation. For the space and community that were created outside the new ballpark. 

Rubbing elbows.

There were many distinguished speakers, including: Forecast Executive Director Jack Becker, Hennepin County Commissioner Mike Opat, Twins President Dave St. Peter, Mayor R.T. Rybak, landscape architect Tom Oslund and artist Ned Kahn. 

They talked about partnerships between businesses and artists and communities. They talked about infusing public spaces with art. They talked about the importance of experiential, participatory moments in our communities... and how these interactions become part of larger collective moments.

Suddenly, the breathtaking Metropolitan Club was not the reason I was gasping for air. It was the philosophy and the ideology. It was the vision. It was the public good. 

You could hear it in the voices of all these folks. They were honestly proud of how this space--that was so intricately and intentionally designed--contributed to the ballpark and to the community as a whole. I was so inspired that I was actually taking notes (on my cellphone!) so I could capture and remember and relive all of the amazing ideas that were being shared.

"And we'll see you tomorrow night!"

When the ceremony was over, I practically bounded out into the night...looking around at the plaza with an even better understanding... with even more appreciation. We waved at The Wave and admired the field, now cloaked in darkness. I gave the Kirby Puckett statue a hug and then reenacted his dramatic rounding of the bases in Game 6 of the 1991 World Series.

Experiential, indeed.

Huh. Sometimes it really is nice to leave the house.

Reverb 10 - Day 8: Don't Hate Me Because I'm "Beautifully Different"

December 8: Beautifully Different

Think about what makes you different and what you do that lights people up. Reflect on all the things that make you different – you’ll find they’re what make you beautiful.

(Author: Karen Walrond)

 _______________________________________________  

I could only think of the Pantene commercial from the late 80's when I saw this prompt. Is that awful? When I told Jay about my reaction, he gave me the furrowed brow and now-now toned "Emmy..." of admonishment. So, of course, I couldn't help myself and had to say "I bet they aren't looking for a post about how I've got a great rack, huh?" To which he patiently said, "What if you tried taking these prompts seriously, instead of making a joke out of everything?" To which I said, "Um hello? Kettle? This is pot. You're black."

And that's how it goes at our house.

Anyway. We're doing this as a list today. Because people like lists. And then, hopefully, I don't have to gloat and boast and be quite as obnoxious.

In fact, let's do it this way. Let's imagine that each point on the list--each piece of evidence about how I am beautifully different--is the slogan on a graphic t-shirt in my closet. Like the kind you would find at Busted Tees. This is my wardrobe. This is what makes me most me. (Oh, and I'm wearing sweatpants with these tees, in case that moves the analogy along...)

T-Shirt #1: I (heart) Land Grants

We all know how I feel about issues of public good as they relate to higher education.

T-Shirt #2: C is for Cookie

I like things that are simple, fun, and laden with frosting. I also like the people who make said things. If the idea of unabashed glee needed graphic representation, I would nominate the cookie as a mascot.

T-Shirt #3: Where are we going, and why am I in this hand-basket?

I value asking questions, learning as much as I can, and being reflective enough to acknowledge that there is an infinite amount about which I know nothing. In fact, I think that the best way to demonstrate (and gain) wisdom and intelligence is to strive to understand that which we do not know...that of which we were not remotely aware.

T-Shirt #4: I'm Okay, You're Okay
We are who we are. It is what it is. We can strive to grow and improve as human beings, but ultimately, we have to be at peace with who we are and the lives we lead. Emerson said, "To be yourself in a world that is constantly trying to make you something else is the greatest accomplishment." Sincerity is sexy, people.

T-Shirt #5: Fired Up! Ready to Go!

I am not a morning person. I get cranky about stupid shit a lot of the time. But striving to go through life with as much optimism and enthusiasm as I can possibly muster is a choice I make every single day. Sometimes it's a decision I have to make multiple times throughout day...but I persist! Daily doses of sunshine in my inbox each morning really help too.

T-Shirt #6: She who laughs...
Laughter is the best medicine, this we know is true. But with smart humor, when there's a little substance behind it, it's like that spoonful of sugar. We think and we laugh...in a most delightful way.

So there you go. That's what makes me, me. I don't know how different these ideas are compared to what makes you, you. I hope they share my true soul with you. I hope these ideas light you up in the way they do me.

Whoever you are, whatever makes you beautiful, wear it proudly...wear it with comfort, okay?

Lighting Candles: Yoko Remembering John

There will be countless tributes to John Lennon today, on the 30th anniversary of his death. The Current did an hour-long tribute and asked folks what songs they would play in honor of Mr. Lennon. People are writing or calling in to various media outlets and talking about where they were or how they heard the news.

I was only 6 years old when Lennon died. I have no memory of the day but can still clearly feel the impact this event held for many, many people in our world.

I read Yoko Ono's tribute to John (and their marriage) in the Times today. It is brief. And intimate. And the last sentence is, to me, the perfect embodiment of all we should ever hope for as we reflect on what matters in a partnership:

"But my memory of us is that we were a couple who laughed."

Besides laughter and love, what else do we really need?

Reverb 10 - Day 7: Community

December 7: Community. 

Where have you discovered community, online or otherwise, in 2010? 

What community would you like to join, create or more deeply connect with in 2011? 

(Author: Cali Harris)

 _______________________________________________

Such sage words...

Good grief do I feel like a hypocrite right now.

My thought, upon seeing this prompt, went straight to the funny and philosophical Groucho Marx. He brought us gems like, "Outside of a dog, a book is a man's best friend. Inside of a dog it's too dark to read," and "The secret of life is honesty and fair dealing. If you can fake that, you've got it made."

But my absolute favorite Groucho quote? The one that best sums up my view of humanity?

"I don't want to belong to any club that will accept people like me as a member."

 But why does this make me a hypocrite? I bet that's your next question, right? You see, my higher ed roots were planted in the field of student development. My job title was Leadership Training Coordinator. My whole existence was structured around building and participating in community. How far I've fallen!

I know that the clubs (or organizations or groups or cliques or...) to which Groucho refers are not necessarily synonymous with community...but some days that's how it feels.

In the last 2 days, I've talked to three different folks in my immediate circle about the challenges of being members of groups (personal, professional and civic) and about how these "communities" failed them in a dazzling, and sometimes junior high-ish, fashion. It seems awfully cynical, especially within the context of this blog, to say this, but sometimes it feels easier to just exist out on the periphery, doesn't it? When you put your heart and soul into something and then get stomped on, well, it's hard to keep contributing.

But if we care about our communities, be they neighborhood boards or professional circles or book clubs or girlfriends or families, then we dive back in. We suck it up and get back in the mix. We participate. Because that's what being part of a community is all about.

In 2010, I left one professional community and joined another. I forged some new friendships, thanks to cookies and getting horribly lost in the exurbs. I started a blog, thanks to Kristendom and even have a couple followers whom I've never ever met before ...including my new pal, The Pale Wisconsinite!

In 2011, I plan on being a better partner in the blogosphere...reading others' blogs and participating in larger community conversations. I also hope to take advantage of some professional development opportunities at work. It may also be time to venture back into public service, in some manner or another. I miss my City Council days (at least sometimes).

Most of all, I'd like to join the community of people who actually effin' finished their PhDs. I don't think we meet that often, and it's not like there is anything special about these folks. It's just a group to which I would like to belong...

...if they'll accept me as a member.

Reverb 10 - Day 6: Make

Day 6: Make. 

What was the last thing you made? What materials did you use? 

Is there something you want to make, but you need to clear some time for it? 

(Author: Gretchen Rubin)

 _______________________________________________

I'm not gonna lie. I was a little disappointed when I saw today's prompt. Not because I don't make anything. Quite the contrary. I feel like I'm making stuff all the time...and at this point, I've started to feel like the stuff I make is wholly unremarkable. It's just part of what I do.

But that phrase, "just part of what I do," reminded me of a post I wrote back in June. A post about how much I love quilting and how the process of creating has become such a central part of my identity.

I've gotten away from the craft that got me into crafting in the first place. And I miss it terribly.

That I strayed so far from quilting was really an innocent and unintentional phenomenon. After many years of quilting, I fell in love with Amy Butler fabrics and patterns. So I started making her bags and home dec projects.

Amy Butler's Stash-n-Dash bags

Then I started making my own little wallets. It was really nice to find a project that was quick(er than making an entire quilt)...and even somewhat commercially tenable. 

So many colors...you can't choose just one...

Then I started making fabric bowls.

Seriously addictive...and easy!

And then I taught myself a peyote beading technique...because I love wide, flat bracelets and have always wanted to learn how to bead like that. (Beaded Colorways is a fantastic book...I absolutely recommend it!)

First attempt...I'm hooked!

It's all incredibly enjoyable and rewarding. And I'd be lying if I said I wasn't just the teeniest, tiniest bit impressed with my crafty crafting abilities. (GAH, the arrogance!)

But...I miss quilting. So much.

I want to make time to quilt again. I don't want to just set aside time for making...for creating. I want to quilt. And quilt, and quilt, and quilt.

I want to take my stash of Moda fat quarters (and all the additional yardage I've accumulated), book a cottage at Larsmont, and sew for days and days on end. I've got:

Rouenneries by French General

Peace on Earth by 3 Sisters

Figgy Pudding...by Basic Grey

Don't forget the batiks! These are from Grubers...but I've got an 18-gallon (?) Rubbermaid tub filled to the brim (and then some).

And that's just the stuff that's easily accessible! (And mostly just the Christmas fabric.) Can you imagine what I'd find if I dug through the bags in the bottom of my closet? Or the bins in storage in the basement? I could disappear for months. That would be heaven!

Whew. I've completely worked myself up into a lather about this. What to do? What to do?

Since fate seems to be conspiring against that trip to the Rose Bowl I was trying to coordinate, maybe I need to rethink my holiday plans.

Hmmm......

Reverb 10 - Day 5: Letting Go...

Day 5: Let go.
What (or whom) did you let go of this year? Why?
 _______________________________________________

I don't know that I have any one particular, significant (or serious) thing that I gave up this year. But I do have a few silly things that may actually contain some substantive rationale (but we'll see...):

Broadway? Bowling alley? KC sounds great anywhere!

I know this answer will be unpopular, so I'll get it out of the way right off the bat. I let go of Glee this year. I tried to like that damn show. And I did for awhile. But then I got sick of it. I found myself rushing around on Tuesday nights to make room for it...and then resenting the show because it didn't live up to my expectations. I have a feeling I've missed some great performances...but honestly, ever since Kristin Chenoweth and Matthew Morrison sang "Alone" ...well, that was all I ever needed.

I like to have shows to follow, and I like talking about popular programs with other folks in my life. Until it becomes this unnecessary albatross that I'm carrying around...like I don't already have enough to do. So I'm saving my TV dedication for shows that deserve it. Not because they're critically-acclaimed, or anything like that. But just because I've deemed them worthy of my time. Chuck...you're welcome! And does anyone know when Justified starts up again?

I also let go of most of my defensiveness on behalf of the Hubert H. Humphrey Metrodome.

Saying good-bye, why is it sad? Makes us remember the good times we've had...

Target Field, the new home of the Minnesota Twins opened this year. And while it is a gorgeous facility that I have absolutely embraced, it was actually pretty hard for me to listen to folks praise the new stadium at the expense of the Dome. I mean I know it was a shit-hole. But it was our shit-hole. And, wow, were we excited when it opened back in 1982. I mean is our collective memory seriously that short? Jeesh.

There are no cute photos of us at the Dome...so Target Field it is!

I have wonderful memories of the Dome. It was where I watched baseball as a kid with my dad. It was where Jay and I went on some of our earliest dates. It is where I taught my Befri to love baseball (Joe Mauer didn't hurt that process either). It was home to two World Series championships...as well as the great plays of Kirby Puckett, Kent Hrbek and other Twins of that generation. I guess I resented that everyone was so quick to fall in love with the newer, younger, sexier model ballpark, while disparaging what was our home for almost 30 years. But I've let go of it. I'm moving on.

Finally, and I wouldn't say I've been entirely successful at this yet, I'm trying to give up the "I'm SOOOOO busy, I must take a load off" feeling. I think I often get in my own way by projecting a heightened sense of busy-ness on my life and then rationalizing my need to crash/rest/slack-off for extended periods of time. I've got plenty to do, to be certain. But there is no reason that I can't cook a little more and order out a little less. There is no reason to be so behind on certain tasky things, or so "Oh, I really need to stay home tonight" every time an opportunity presents itself.

So sleepy...

I am a home- body by nature. I am far from being neat-freak. I couldn't possibly keep  up with any Joneses. But there's no need to go to extremes, right? I can't insist that I need a break and then feel wracked with guilt for not accomplishing anything, right? I feel like I've made some progress in this area in the last couple months. But I know I could be better about it...and it would feel good to do so. Sort of connects to the forward progress and taking the first step ideas from a couple days ago, huh?

Looks like I'm already benefiting and learning from all this Reverb 10 business...HOORAY!